Social Graces

Attending a social gathering with a toddler in tow is somewhat like playing a hand of Blackjack. You never know what you are going to be dealt, and you know the odds are against you.

On Saturday, Jennifer, Jack and I attended a wedding reception that was being held at the residence of the bride's parents. Weather conditions were ideal for the outdoor event, with temperatures in the high 70s, and a slight breeze to defend against bugs. The hosts recognized that young children would be in attendance, so they had set up one of those big, inflatable, "bounce castle" things. While this bloated equipment offered adequate entertainment for most of the kids, Jack had other interests on his mind.

First on Jack's agenda was to get as far away from the rest of the group as possible. And since I am paranoid about letting Jack get out of my sight, this meant that I was separated from the main group as well. (The reception was held at a farm, so there was lots of room for Jack to roam). After Jack and I were off by ourselves, Jack preceded to amuse himself by pouring handfuls of gravel driveway through his hair. After I pulled him away from that mess, Jack found amusement in pacing up and down the sidewalk by the house. And after that, Jack thoroughly studied the landscaping of the entire grounds. Basically, Jack did everything he could to avoid contact with the rest of the crowd.

Was Jack misbehaving at this event? No. Was Jack disruptive or out of control? Absolutely not. But because he was more interested in wandering off to do his own thing, Jack missed an opportunity to interact with the other kids. Not to mention the fact that I missed the opportunity to converse with other adults. Our afternoon of potential social interaction turned into a much more private affair.

Working through this grace period of Jack's "social isolation" is just one of the (many) basic skills deserving attention. One positive step in this process is that we recently joined a playgroup. So far, our playgroup has agreed to meet regularly on Monday mornings, and I think that Jack will really benefit from this experience. As Jack becomes more familiar with the other toddlers in our playgroup, he will learn the value of friendship, and the importance of good social interaction.

And as a stay-at-home dad who feels socially isolated at times, this playgroup is a great opportunity for me as well.